


Shoelaces

by AlyOopsie, Moon_Bear



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Don't Judge Me, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Memes, Not to be taken seriously, This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-08-11 09:36:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7885942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlyOopsie/pseuds/AlyOopsie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moon_Bear/pseuds/Moon_Bear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This has been a public service announcement.<br/>Not to be taken seriously!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shoelaces

Nathan leaned over, whispering into Warren’s ear. “The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.” Warren gasped, like that small anime boy gasp. Not the school girl gasp but the gasp where u touch the tiddle and make that cute anime kawaii desu face. That gasp. He then responded by inching his hand down towards the stringy laces of the other’s shoes. It was time. 

“I’m going to tie your shoes so hard.” Wow hot diddly damn fuck me sideways and call me susan that was hot. Almost as hot as the fucking sun holy hot damn do u know how hot that is exactly. 5,777 K. That’s how hot it is. Nathan’s face heated up, reaching down to lace his fingers through Walrus’ hair. This makes it sound like he’s giving him a blowjob. Only, he’s giving a blowjob to his shoe laces. A shoejob. The shorter homosapien of the male gender recited to himself in that sexy Princess Fiona voice: “The dragon goes under the bridge, through the loop, and finally, into the castle,” following the steps as he went before pulling the laces tight and listening to Nathan’s loud moan echo in his ears. 

“The other shoe,” he contorted his face into a random ass facial expression or some shit and took the laces into his hands, leaving the opposite shoe to it’s sensitive state. His voice grew quiet, looping the string through the gap, “yeah, you like that? You dirty sinner.” O jeez o holy god gosh darn damn that was sexy af. Nathan replied with a grin, opening his mouth to speak before closing it shut again, watching Warren stand and turn on his heel like lmao. “Too bad, you can-” he cut him off by grabbing his wrist, his brows furrowing. 

“What the fuck did you just fucking say to me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.” 

Warren’s appearance faltered, stumbling back to jerk his wrist away. “Wtf man I just gave you a shoejob and now you’re going to shit fury on me what an asshole 0/10 never would shoejob again.” Then they went to hatefuck in some dirty alleyway. The End. This has been a Public Service Announcement (PSA) and is not meant to be taken seriously. The author is in no way sane and should be admitted into a mental hospital immediately. Thank you for reading you fucking scrub. ( I love you ).

**Author's Note:**

> This was written while somewhat high with my best friend and a couple of dorks. I do not own any characters or memes included.


End file.
